It’s a jungle in here, it’s a desert out there

Feelings at the start of a career break.

It’s a jungle in here …

Watch out!
Fast flowing, watery arteries.
Time pulses
Quick!
Groping, grabbing viney veins
Currents sweep away until
Stuck!
In boggy belly
Half swampy swallowed.

Alien plants lure unknown potential.
Vibrant vegetation hides deadly intent.
Suffocating uncertainty saturates
Only anxious downpours clear damp doubt.

Canopy chatters: oo-oo-oo, ah-ah-ah.
Echoes: HA! HA! HA!
Mocking parrots painting flamboyant rainbows.

Crunch!
Clunky status seeking killjoy tramples embryonic futures.
Sights bounty down the barrel
BANG!
No more fun or monkeying around.

Advises Kipling: ‘keep peace with the lords of the jungle’.
Purrfect fur slinks though panther palace
No place for amateurs.
Emerald eyes scan, all is prey.
Precise kills, first time.
No three strikes; you’re just out.

Self judgement slithers gracefully.
Camouflaging here, there, everywhere.
Embarrassment hisses.
Fangs drip expectations and shoulds
Paralysing, squeezing dreams struggling to burst free.

… it’s a desert out there

I wake up
But was I even sleeping?
At the wheel
But where am I going?

Wind holds breath, revealing a track back.
Rearview mirror reversing a route home.
Wind exhales
Sweeping hope away.

Lost and weary, sweary angry regrets
Exhaust fumes.
Wiping dusty windscreen, I pause.
Pursuit Special patrol cruiser growls on its paws.

Roaming solo
When was last contact?
Months
Maybe years ago?
Wait, there’s still fuel in the tank
Phew.
Maybe just weeks in this wasteland
Brown, barren and blank.

Lying open in every direction, adventure draws:
Might as well keep going straight ahead?
Engine roars:
Lone ranger, road warrior
Who am I?
Max.
Mad as hell and I just won’t take it anymore.